Closing the Door on the Past
by AmandaFaye
Summary: Carolyn's plans for a solitary Halloween suddenly change. Set First Season. Not a From This Day On Universe story,  By Amanda and Mary.


**Closing the Door on The Past**

By

Mary and Amanda

_**Plot summary from the original canon episode, **__**Vanessa: **__**Screenplay by Joseph **__**Bonaduce**__**, original air-date, Oct. 26, 1968: **_

**_Vanessa Peakskill was a visiting first season GAMM character played by a young actress, Shelly Fabares, previously known for her role on The Donna Reed Show, and later known for her role on Coach_**

**_Vanessa Peakskill shows up in Schooner Bay, looking for someone to take her to Gull Cottage, the home of the "late" Captain Daniel Gregg. She wants to find the love-letters her great-great-grandmother (also Vanessa) wrote to Captain Gregg during their brief engagement one-hundred some-odd years before. The current Vanessa has the love letters the Captain wrote her great-great-grandmother. _**

**_Daniel Gregg is temporarily smitten by this young woman who looks very much like his lost love, even though he never introduces himself to her, and Carolyn Muir becomes so upset over the Captain's actions that she seriously considers breaking her lease and letting Claymore sell the house to Vanessa. However, the Captain overhears Carolyn's call to Claymore saying that she wants to move and let Vanessa have the house, making him realize that he cares for Carolyn more than the "reincarnation" of his lost love, and figures out a creative way to get Vanessa to leave._**

**_In the TV episode, the viewer is given no answer as to why the Captain's engagement to Vanessa was originally broken._**

**_As always, GAMM is the property of Josephine Leslie (a.k.a.: R.A. Dick) and Twentieth Century Fox, and we make no profit from the telling of this tale._**

**Halloween, 1968**

"Are you sure you won't get too lonely with both the kids and me out for the evening?" Martha Grant fretted as she shrugged on her coat. "You won't even have trick-or-treaters to keep you amused, since all the children went straight to Mrs. Post's house after school on account of her party." The older woman frowned. "I really don't have to go to that double-feature, Bell, Book, and Candle and Arsenic and Old Lace. I have seen both of them!"

Laying a hand on her friend's arm, Carolyn Muir reassured her, "Quite certain, Martha."

"You could come with me," Martha suggested.

For a moment, Carolyn was tempted, but then shook her head."I appreciate the offer, but Candy and Jonathan will be home before you would get out of the show and there MIGHT be a few wandering ghouls looking for treats. With us being so new to Schooner Bay, it would look bad if we weren't here. Someone should be home for treat-giving, just in case."

"I understand Claymore was trying to borrow a child or two…" a deep, beautiful voice remarked from behind the lovely widow."…He would escort them, for a percentage of the haul."

Fighting to control her twitching lips, Carolyn smiled at Martha. "Besides, a quiet evening on my own is something I haven't indulged in for ages. It'll be a treat for me."

"If you say so," Martha sighed."Have a happy Halloween, Mrs. Muir."

"I will, Martha," Carolyn promised as the other woman went out the door.

"I fear I must also leave you tonight, Madam," the spirit of Captain Daniel Gregg said regretfully as he materialized into view."So, I do hope you meant what you said about the evening alone being a treat."

"I confess I would enjoy your company," she allowed, "but I do understand. You have a… life… of your own, so to speak. Where will you be, Captain?"The spirit stiffened slightly, as he considered the question, and Carolyn noticed it. "Never mind," she said, a bit more formally."I don't have a right to ask that.And we DID agree after... Vanessa was here to respect each other's privacy.So… just do me a favor?Forget I asked you."

"As you wish, Mrs. Muir," the Captain nodded. "If you can manage without me for an evening, I should depart now."

"Your company would be nice, but I can handle it," Carolyn forced a bright smile."It's just that I've never known a ghost before, so I was kind of wondering what you DO on Halloween that you don't do any other nights of the year.Also, you've never been gone at night before; at least that I am aware of, so for the first time since we moved here a bit over a month ago, I will REALLY be the only person at Gull Cottage, that's all."She shrugged. "I hope you have a nice time... doing... whatever it is ghosts do.I have my book to read and I'll be just fine."

"If you should need assistance…" he started to say and then laughed a little ruefully, "…I doubt I could know, but..."

Carolyn raised an eyebrow."I thought you were ALWAYS 'tuned in' to what goes on, on board your ship... I mean my... this house."

Looking affronted, he drew himself up to favor her with a stern expression. "Madam, that is true; however, distance can add a degree of… difficulty in the perception."

"I don't understand."

"Where I will be tonight is not on the human plane, but the spectral one...and as such I will be out of touch from everything on earth, as you know it.This house, you, the children... everything... and I won't be in contact with, or available to, other spirits that choose to remain on the earth this night."

"Are there many spirits around here, Captain?I must admit, that thought never occurred to me... but then I am still getting used to being around ONE ghost... ah… spirit on a daily basis."

"No one has taken a census," he shrugged.

"Does that mean no other spectral-types are due to drop by any time soon?If they do, I think it would be easier if Candy and Martha knew about you... and them.I don't believe I could keep a straight face with a whole houseful of spirits. Sometimes, I think Martha wonders if I am going around the bend, as it is. I don't know about Candy."

"They will see me when they are ready to accept the idea," he answered. "However, it is doubtful that a horde of spirits will descend on Gull Cottage tonight."

"Oh... well..."

The seaman eyed the beautiful woman in front of him closely."I should get going... Punctuality is still a virtue. Do you need anything before I go?"

"I guess not," she shrugged gracefully."Just, well, I don't know quite what is right to say, but I guess, have a good time, Captain... at your party, or meeting, or... whatever it is you are doing with all your friends.And if any of your pals DO drop by here looking for you, I'll tell them where you are... as much as I know, anyway!"

"Thank you, Madam," seemed the appropriate thing to say. "I imagine I won't be home until you are long in bed, so I will say good-night now, so... good-night."Then, he was gone.

"Goodnight, Captain Gregg," Carolyn whispered to the air, as she felt the spirit leave. She glanced up at the ceiling for a moment and then back down to the coffee table, where she thought she had left the book she was planning to read after everyone had left, but the volume wasn't there.She shook her head.Forgetting things, Carolyn!First sign of middle age!Now what did you do with your book?

A brief search located the paperback and then Carolyn decided to get a cup of something hot, though she wasn't sure if she wanted coffee, tea, or cocoa. She tapped on the cover of her book for a moment."Brandy would be nice," the woman mused."But that is a drink to be shared with others..." Her thoughts turned to the handsome seaman again."I wonder if the Captain can eat or drink anything?" She shook her head, trying to get the vision of the handsome ghost out of her mind. "Tea, Carolyn. What you need is a nice cup of tea, but… tea is better shared, too…" However, Scruffy would have to be the other half of the 'tea for two,' unless she wanted to invite her landlord over, and she really did not. The house just felt so empty without its Captain, and Claymore Gregg would not be a good substitute.

Pensively, Carolyn put on the teakettle and retrieved the makings of a good, strong cup of herb tea. It was a good thing she wasn't a huge fan of fancy teas; they were almost impossible to come by in Schooner Bay.

An early chill made her shiver. Too bad I didn't ask the Captain to light a fire before he left… Blast it, Carolyn; you COULD make your own fire. I hate being dependent on a man, living or not! It did seem like a lot of fuss for just one person, though. It wasn't that cold, either. Maybe she could wrap up in an afghan? No, Carolyn knew what she wanted. The kettle had a ways to go, so, leaving it, she hurried upstairs to get her new shawl, the one that the Captain had decided she should have when Vanessa Peakskill rejected it. It was so lovely and she chose not to dwell on the almost romantic implications. It was just a very kind gift. That was all. Her fondness for it was no different from what she would have for something any friend; she considered the seaman that much, had given her.

"What could he have meant... giving me the shawl?" she whispered to herself."It's so beautiful..." Carolyn stroked the old silk."I wonder if the first Vanessa would have liked it? "But… maybe she would have been too young to appreciate it... that... girl... couldn't have been much more than twenty-four or twenty-five.Or maybe he... STOP!" She chided herself again."Carolyn Williams Muir, you are too old to have these daydreams!" She sighed. "Besides, he's not even alive."But her musings went on.Even if he SEEMS more alive than any other man I have ever...

Forcing herself to think realistically, Carolyn yanked her thoughts back to the present and went to attend to the whistling teakettle. Making the tea took no time at all, but she did stop to dig out a doggie treat for Scruffy; who begged politely, ate his treat, and then made a beeline for the living room.Carolyn followed him and the dog glanced first at the cold fireplace and then at his mistress.He gave a small, yet authoritative, bark.

"Scruffy, I just talked myself out of lighting the fire," she protested, sitting on the sofa and reaching for her book."Maybe tomorrow night, when the kids, Martha and... you-know-who are home...Heavens!I sound like Claymore!" The dog whined, hopped up on the sofa, and put his head in her lap.With a small laugh, Carolyn scratched his ears. "No, I don't care if it is Halloween; no more treats for you." The little terrier gave Carolyn a look and what almost appeared to be a shrug, and then settled again."Good boy," she said, as she expertly held a book in one hand and petted the dog with the other."Don't worry; the kids will be home before you know it."Then, without warning, there was a knock at the door.Scruffy stiffened and then bounded off the couch, heading toward the front door with a small growl. "Claymore must've found a child to borrow," Carolyn grinned. "I hope there's not a lot of kids skipping the party; I didn't buy a ton of candy." Reaching the front door, she shooed the still alternately growling and barking dog to the side and opened the door a crack.One couldn't be too careful, after all, and she was alone.

When she saw who was on the other side, Carolyn groaned inwardly and had to bite back the word "blast." Vanessa had returned! The woman must have realized that the letter from Captain Gregg, breaking up with her ancestress, was a phony! Nevertheless, she politely opened the door further, noticing that the girl was wearing the same gown that she had worn in the picture from Captain Gregg's sea chest in the attic. Odd, Carolyn frowned to herself. I thought she left the dress here… with… MY shawl."Miss Peakskill…" she began, "...What brings you back to Schooner Bay?I didn't hear you drive up!"

The younger woman stared at Carolyn blankly."Drive?Peakskill?I fear you are mistaken, good woman, my name is..."

"...Vanessa, yes, I know," Carolyn interrupted, wondering if there was ANY chance the Captain was still in the vicinity. "Vanessa Peakskill and you want to look for more… Look, you had your chance. I have a lease and this house isn't for sale."

"Nay, Madam," the woman tried again."I fear you have me confused with someone else.I AM Vanessa, yes, but my last name... that is my maiden name, was Hamilton.My married name is Clifford, Vanessa Hamilton Clifford. I'm here to see Captain Gregg?Daniel Gregg?I understood that he still lives... that is, he haunts here?"

Carolyn was not sure what shocked her more; seeing the ORIGINAL Vanessa standing there on her doorstep, or that she so boldly admitted to being a ghost. Then, with her presupposition cast aside, Mrs. Muir did not know how she could have thought this spirit was the young woman she had so recently met. Her attire clearly bespoke another era, one long gone… the Captain's era, and pain clenched Carolyn's insides. This Vanessa was not only Captain Gregg's first love, or at least the first woman he had ever admitted to considering becoming a… poodle by the fireplace for, but, like him, she was a ghost and if her husband wasn't, there was nothing to prevent the two from taking up where they had left off. He clearly had feelings for Vanessa still, judging by the way he had reacted to the modern version of her!

In the moment it took for all this to run through Carolyn's mind, the specter's eyes were trained on her. "You… do have a ghost here, don't you? I was certain that Daniel was still here."

Recovering her composure, Carolyn nodded. "Yes, we do, but don't normally go telling people. But then again, you aren't exactly… what I mean to say is… you're a ghost, too. So, there's no reason to not tell you." Then, because courtesy demanded it, she added, "Won't you come in?"

"Thank you." Vanessa glided into the foyer, almost not touching the ground at all."You are most kind."

"Well, I don't want to let the cold air in," Carolyn shrugged."This way, please."With Vanessa following, they entered the living room.Scruffy, who had been following quietly, ran toward the ghost once more, first with teeth bared in a snarl, and then the pooch started barking at the ghostly guest.

"Oh!" Vanessa cried, "Please... send him away!"

Carolyn started to say Scruffy would not hurt her, then, she thought of something. "You're a… a… ghost. He can't hurt you."

"Maybe not, but he terrifies me, nonetheless!"

"But..."

"The little ones yap and the big ones..." she shuddered,"I never did understand why Daniel was so fond of dogs!This one... he is his?No... He can't be.Just..."She peered down at Scruffy, who had stopped barking, but was still growling. "Just... Can you put him somewhere else?"

"He'll calm down in a minute, if you'll just have a seat," Carolyn argued. Normally, she'd have agreed, but this was Scruffy's home and Vanessa was an uninvited, unwanted guest."I don't think Scruffy likes the smell of ectoplasm," she added."He's still getting used to the... that is, Captain Gregg."

"I see..." Vanessa eyed the pooch warily as she sat down."Where is Daniel, if I may be so bold as to ask?I... I wanted to talk to him.Actually, I rather thought HE would answer my knock.After all, this is HIS house."

Silently, Carolyn groaned. She was getting truly sick of hearing that. Claymore and Captain Gregg's ongoing spat was more than enough. "Actually, legally, it's not; it's Claymore Gregg's, and I rent it from him," she protested. "Captain Gregg has gone out for the evening and I do not know when he will return."

"Out?" Vanessa echoed."I should have known! It is All-Hallows' Eve! That is the only reason I am here.I was hoping to see him... talk to him?"

"As I said, he is out, at a spectral meeting of some sort.I have no idea when he will be back.He wasn't specific, but I imagine it could be quite late," Carolyn answered.

"But time on a ghost's plane is not the same for humans," Vanessa protested."Please, I don't want to be forward, but I have come a long way, and I WAS hoping..." She broke off then, and if Carolyn didn't know better, she thought that Vanessa was blushing.

"I can't summon him back," Mrs. Muir stated bluntly.

"I see..." she paused,"I... I am most dreadfully sorry to intrude on your solitude tonight.It occurs to me that I haven't even asked your name..."

"Carolyn," she nodded."Mrs. Carolyn Muir."

"And I am Vanessa... Mrs. Vanessa Hamilton Clifford."Then Mrs. Clifford gave a nervous laugh. "But, I've already told you that, and you did seem to know me, at least my first name?"

"Ah, yes. Your great-great granddaughter was recently here."

"Really!"The ghost's face brightened."And she is..."The spirit looked around the room.

"Gone," Carolyn said briefly."She... her mother had recently sent her the letters the Captain wrote to you when you were... betrothed, and she was looking for ones you wrote to the Captain.I believe she wanted to write a book about him."Not to mention buy my house… she added to herself, and the blonde tried to look casual.

Clapping her hands together like a child, Vanessa beamed. "Oh, how marvelous! I can't wait to see! Daniel's letters were so… ah..." She paled suddenly. "But what I wrote to him…"

"Well, uh, actually, they aren't here..." Carolyn stammered."I mean the ones he sent to you.Your great-great grandchild took them away with her again. As for your letters, The Captain said that they were lost at sea."

Vanessa nodded, looking, Carolyn felt, almost relieved. "I suppose accidents happened," the ghost nodded. "It is truly amazing that he could hold onto anything, really!But you said my descendant was writing a book?How... forward of her!I have never known any writers."

"Well, NOW you've met one. I'm a writer," Carolyn retorted.

"Really?Do you write…?" She lowered her voice to a whisper "...Women's books and stories?" Then the ghost definitely DID blush.

"I mostly write magazine and newspaper articles," Carolyn replied, smiling a little as the 'balance' shifted in her favor. Actually, the idea of writing a book did have some appeal, but she wasn't sure she'd ever dare.

"For Lucius Finley's newspaper?" Vanessa frowned."I had... moved away from Schooner Bay by then, but my parents told me what he published about what… Daniel did, and how Mr. Finley reported it so very sensationally." Then, she faded a little. "I do hope our… that the end of our relationship did not cause him sufficient despair to do that!"

"He didn't kill himself, he just kicked the bl… the gas heater with his foot, which caused the pilot light to go out and then he fell asleep and inhaled the gas. Carbon monoxide poisoning is what it's called," Carolyn informed her.

"I see," the younger woman nodded."Your news does make me feel better.I have wondered for ages whether I was the cause of Daniel's early demise.It sounds poetic in books, to do away with oneself because of a lost love, but in real life... It... it... I didn't like to even consider the possibility.And besides all that, I never met a man less likely to commit suicide than Daniel Elias Alexander Gregg."

Carolyn blinked."Elias Alexander?"

The spirit nodded and then cocked a well-shaped eyebrow at her hostess."You didn't know?"

Carolyn shook her head."No... The Captain... My family and I only moved into Gull Cottage about five weeks ago.I just knew his name was Daniel Gregg."

Vanessa nodded again."Yes.Elias after his great-great grandfather Ephram Elias. I believe Alexander was his father's name."

Carolyn echoed her ghostly guest's gesture, absorbing this bit of information. "You need not worry. He assured me, right on the night we arrived, that he did not kill himself, and I have no reason to doubt his word."

Inclining her head in agreement, Vanessa said, "Yes, Daniel was always very honest." She laughed. "At times, he was almost too much so for my comfort. Even white lies were impossible when he would turn those… piercing blue eyes on one."

He **does **have a way of looking at person that is most uncompromising, Carolyn had to agree. Of course, they had not lived in Gull Cottage long enough for her to be tempted to fudge on the truth, really, but she strongly suspected Claymore had run into that problem!

Vanessa looked around and her gaze stopped at the portrait of Daniel Gregg over the mantle. "Your husband does not object to having another man's picture so prominently on display?"

"My husband is deceased, and not a ghost," Carolyn lowered her eyes.

"Oh. I am sorry," the spirit looked embarrassed.

"And... Your husband?" Carolyn had to ask, "Is he a spirit?"

The other woman shook her head. "He did die before me, but I've never seen him. I don't know why, yet, but I hope soon."

Carolyn took a deep breath.I might as well face the inevitable, she thought."Mrs. ..."

"Mrs. Muir, please.Call me Vanessa."

"Uhm... Vanessa... The Captain has sort of suggested to me why he haunts.His death was called a suicide when it wasn't and he wanted Gull Cottage to be a seaman's home, and it isn't and won't be as long as Claymore is around. Why... why are you a ghost?Do you know?"

Now, it was Vanessa's turn to appear startled."But I am NOT a ghost. Not in the sense that Daniel is, I don't think... do you?" the woman faded a bit.

Carolyn shook her head."Well, the Captain IS kind of earthy, for a spirit!I remember the firstnight we met, I had trouble thinking of him as a spirit at all, and probably would have tried to touch him as a test, if he hadn't appeared and disappeared on meseveral times in the course of a minute!But Mrs. ... I mean Vanessa, if you AREN'T a ghost,asCaptain Gregg is, anyway, what are you doing here?Aren't you planning on..." she swallowed. "...Joining him here at Gull Cottage?I'm trying to be nice, but I am really not up for any more ghosts, here.If you join the Captain, I may find myself looking for another place to live... again."

"No... No..." Vanessa shook her head."That's not it at all!I'm here to... not to apologize, but to correct an oversight that happenedmore than a hundred years ago... and I repeat, am not a spirit in the way Daniel Gregg is."

Intrigued despite herself, Carolyn asked, "What? What oversight?"

Vanessa sighed."I am not used to blurting out personal matters to strangers, but maybe...could I tell you my story?Perhaps then I will be more comfortable talking to Daniel; that is, if he will speak to me at all... and provided he gets back to Gull Cottage before it is too late for me to talk to him."

Granted, it was with mixed motives, the main one being curiosity, that prompted Carolyn to encourage the ghost with the words, "Yes. Rehearsing what you want to say can be helpful."

"Are you sure you don't mind listening?" the spirit asked, "I AM taking you away from your quiet evening."

"I am absolutely sure," Carolyn nodded."Before you begin, is there something I can get you?"

The ghost shook her head."I am unable to partake of anything on this plane, if you mean tea, or anything else to drink… or eat, for that matter!I understand some ghosts can, but I am not one of them. But if you would like to make more tea for yourself, don't let me stop you.I couldn't anyway."

"I believe I will wait," Carolyn nodded.Really, this ghost was more well mannered than the Vanessa she had met... a fact that surprised her."Now, what were you saying about NOT being a spirit like the Captain?" With a grimace, Carolyn added, "I did not know there were multiple kinds of ghosts."

"I know of several kinds," Vanessa nodded. "Most… distinctions… have to do with the limits of their powers and abilities, but I am not really at liberty to go into that... 'Tis not for you to know... yet."She paused. "In my own case, I will only be a spirit for tonight... All-Hallows' Eve.Shortly, whether I have had a chance to see Daniel or not, I will have to leave this place and go back into the light."

Blinking, Carolyn slowly asked, "Then, you are not here for a… second chance? To reclaim the past? Or, you aren't taking him with you, are you?" Blushing, she added, "My son is very fond of the Captain."

"As... you are?" The ghost smiled."No, actually I am merely here to clear a few things up with Daniel.I... I fear that he has some misconceptions about our romance... that is, our past... together, I mean, and I was given a chance tonight, to clarify matters to him, finally. I have been waiting to set things right forever, it seems, but now that I am here, he is not, and I don't know if he would listen to me if he WAS here!"

"I feel sure he would," Carolyn said, reluctantly."It is obvious that he cares... cared for you a great deal."

"And how would YOU know this?" Vanessa looked puzzled.

"He... he kept... things..." Carolyn mumbled."Your picture... and... and this..." She gestured to the shawl she was still wearing.

"It becomes you," Vanessa nodded.

"You don't mind that he… ah… gave it to me?"

"It looks like it was made for you," she smiled."And I can't wear it after all, nor can I take it with me when I leave.It belongs here.You said he bought it for... me?"

Carolyn nodded, her face turning red."Yes, in Morocco, I believe.He said he intended it to be a gift for you, originally, but..."

"But I wasn't waiting here to have him give it to me?" Vanessa queried gently."He's right, I wasn't... and that is part of why I have come here tonight.I need to clear that matter and a few others up with him, once and for all."She frowned."So, he didn't tell you our history?What... happened between us?Or maybe I should say what... didn't happen?"

"No," Carolyn shook her head again."Actually I know very little about the Captain's past.He's rather closed-mouthed on the subject of his personal history.I have only learned some bits and pieces.As I said, we haven't known each other terribly long.He does like to tell me about his adventures at sea, though."

"Men..." Vanessa shook her head."Alive or dead, they are still the most confounding creatures in the universe."

Unable to suppress a grin, Carolyn countered, "Though they claim WE are!"

"My late husband often said so,"Vanessa sighed."I would love tohear him say it again, even now!"She gave herself a little shake."Still, this is not telling my story, is it?Should I continue?I hope I haven't disturbed you, talking of my husband.You are a widow also, and I should not be so insensitive."

With a shake of her head, Carolyn assured her, "I've had time to adjust. You haven't disturbed me at all."

"All right..." the spirit nodded. "How should I begin?Daniel knows part of this history, but in a way, he doesn't, too.What he really doesn't know comes ina bit..."

"Start wherever you like; it is YOUR story, after all."

"All right," Vanessa's voice trembled slightly."I suppose I should start with the obvious.I wasn't born in Schooner Bay, but in Whitcliffe, Maine, in 1840.My parents were merchants. We arrived here when I was about sixteen, at which time my father set up a new business.I had a good life, and really never wanted for anything, but we were not of the decadently rich either.I met Daniel at a dance when I was twenty and he was about thirty-five, I imagine.A woman in my day didn't ask those things, after all."

Carolyn nodded at her pause, not wanting to interrupt the flow of thoughts. Getting a chance to know more about that magnificent man was something she had wanted to do since she and her family had moved into Gull Cottage.

"Daniel was an established Captain with a ship, a faithful crew under his command and a reputation as a man who could complete a voyage with few or no problems," Vanessa went on."He was between runs when we started keeping companyand he asked me to marry him about a fortnight before he was to undertake his next voyage. I can't remember where it was to now; all I remember is that he said he would be gone for six to eight months, depending, and he wanted to marry me when he returned.My parents were anxious for me to say "yes," for they wanted me to make a good match, and felt that he was that.Truthfully, I think they were also concerned that I was twenty and as yet unmarried, and I didn't seem to be overly concerned whether I was or not. They said this was my "golden opportunity"."Vanessa stopped then and looked slightly hesitant. "You don't think this was a bad thing for my parents to feel?"

Slowly, not wanting to offend, Carolyn replied, "Well, nowadays, women don't need to marry so young, but I do understand it was a concern when you and the Captain were, that is, in your era. So, their feelings would be reasonable…"

"I understood their feelings, too," Vanessa said, "But... something was missing. I was very fond of Daniel, and I had no doubts at all that he loved me, as much as a man of my century could love a woman, or at least admit to, but I... I still felt like something wasn't as it should be. I said as much to my mother, but she said I would "learn" to love him and that romantic, soul-mate love was something that only came along once in a century, but besides my feelings for Daniel, I was also dreading the day he would set sail and knew that I would be without him for six months or more, if nothing unforeseen happened, that we would be marrying upon his return, and that I didn't really KNOW him well enough to marry! I wanted more time with him… to get to know him, but my parents wanted me to accept and I believe Daniel did, too. He said he was old enough to know what he felt and what he wanted and that Gull Cottage was waiting for a family, so I said 'yes'."

Anger on the young woman's behalf sparked in Carolyn's eyes. She was so glad things had changed! "What a terribly important decision to have to make when you felt so much pressure, Vanessa."

"Thank you..." the ghost whispered, "I hope you will still understand when I tell you what happened next."

Tacitly, Carolyn indicated that Vanessa should continue. If she could have, she would have squeezed the spirit's hand. "I'm sure I will; nobody is perfect, after all. Even saints have done things that shamed them." Carolyn had a niggling notion that perhaps the Captain's scant version of the romance… that is, him writing ANY letter to this woman, ending their betrothal had happened, that it might not have been totally accurate. Maybe it had been Vanessa who had done the jilting? If so, she could not help but admire the woman, just a little. After all, she had been being virtually forced into a match that was purely practical, from the sound of things. Refusing it would take a lot of backbone. Mrs. Muir was reminded of how she had struggled against all her friends and relatives and then finally wound up simply defying them, to move to Schooner Bay. Despite herself, Carolyn felt a begrudging kinship with the woman that, on some level, she had almost seen as a… rival… of sorts.

Vanessa sighed. "Daniel set sail, and Mother and Fatherstarted making wedding plans for us almost immediately; though they really didn't ask me very many questions about what I wanted, or even what Daniel might want, but they were determined that our wedding would be the biggest and grandest affair that Schooner Bay had ever seen.Time passed.Maybe three months... somehow, I don't know how, Daniel had managed to get some letters to me… poetically written letters that said, among other things, how much he missed meand that he was counting days before we would be together again. But the more I read them, the more I realized that I was NOT doing the same. In truth, I wasn't doing any counting at all, unless it was dreading the day of our approaching nuptials."

"I'm so very sorry," Carolyn said, remembering the Captain's beautiful words that the ghost's great-great granddaughter had read bits and pieces of.Such a pity this girl couldn't enjoy them as she ought to have!

Vanessa smiled wanly. "It could have been much worse; Daniel is a good man.ButI knew it wasn't right.I didn't love him as one ought to love a soon-to-be husband, and I was dreading being a seaman's wife;so much so that I just couldn't eat. Every time I tried, it came up again and then I was ill.Not for long, but how long gets a little hazy. I recovered, and then my dear cousin suggested I take a small vacation to rest and get my strength back. Abigail and I had practically grown up together and she and her mother were planning atrip to Portland. They asked me and then my parents if I would like to come with them. My aunt said it would do me good, and I could come back; ready to be a stately, married woman."

"One last… fling," Carolyn agreed.

"Exactly," Vanessa nodded.

"So... your parents consented?"

"Father wasn't happy about it, but Mother was," Vanessa nodded."So they packed me up in record time, and off I went."

"What happened in Portland?" Carolyn inquired, curiously, "Was there... someone else you met, or..."

Shaking her head, the woman replied, "No. Not then. I just realized that everything was all wrong and away from my parents, I had the courage to take a stand."

"A stand..." Carolyn echoed."You..."

"I didn't come back to Schooner Bay." Vanessa stopped speaking for a moment, bit her lip and looked at her lap."My aunt was something of a freethinker for those days, and said she understood and that I shouldn't be pushed into anything I didn't want, especially something as important as marriage."

"She was right, no matter what era," Carolyn maintained.

"Yes, she was and my cousin, Abby, thought so too, though she also considered me to be very brave to not go back," the ghost answered.

"I agree with Abby," Carolyn nodded."But... Vanessa... what did you do?I mean, other than maybe write your parents and say you weren't returning?"

Vanessa gave her hostess a sad smile. "Once I had stated my wishes tomy aunt and cousin, I realized I had some letter writing to do.First I wrote a letter to Mother and Father, knowing they wouldn't get it immediately... maybe intwo or three weeks.Then, I spent even MORE time penning a letter to Daniel, telling him that while I was very fond of him, that I knew I did not want to marry him, or anyone else,at this time... and why.I did tell him that being a wife of a seaman wassomething I thought I could never be happy being, and told him to please forget me and try to find someone that loved him for the man he was."

Carolyn wiped a tear from her eye. Sighing, she murmured, "I don't think he ever did."She shook her head."But, Vanessa, what you decided to do may not have been conventional for your time, but it seems extreme that you would come back just to tell Captain Gregg, this... Surely he understood?" She pushed back a lock of hair from her face."What did he say? And where did you go?How did you support yourself, if you... didn't come home?"

"Another slightly younger, but considerably better off, cousin of mine was going to Europe for a season," Vanessa answered. "We ran into her and her parents in Portland. Uncle Maxim was nervous; her chaperone had become ill and could not accompany Josephine, so he asked if I would go along, provided he paid my way. It was a once in a life chance, and I took it. I never faced Daniel, as I ought to have done."

"But you DID write him a letter?" Carolyn asked, puzzled."You said so.That was honorable.It may not have been the done thing then, but..."

"I did!" Vanessa nodded her head vigorously."I wrote Daniel the letter I said I did and put it in the same envelope I mailed to my parents and then left.The season turned into a three-year trip for my cousin, uncle and me and it was in Europe that I met my husband, John Clifford."She drew a deep breath."But, eventually, my husband and I did come back to Maine, and I found out fromMama and Papa that they had notsent my letter to Daniel immediately, hoping that I would "come to my senses" andreturn to Schooner Bay, but I didn't. Danielreturned from his voyage, ready for a wedding and was greeted with the news that I had... jilted him." Unable to meet Carolyn's eyes, she finished. "I know it must have hurt his pride, terribly." She bit her lip again."I should have waited and told Daniel when he returned that I just couldn't marry him, but I was afraid I would lose my nerve.Mrs. Muir, I had a good life with John and four children… two boys and two girls, before I died in..."

"...1881," Carolyn finished.

"Yes, but how did you know that?"

"Your great-great-granddaughter told me."

"So you said. I remember now. She would be my older daughter Elizabeth's granddaughter."

"Yes, and she is the image of you."

"But she has gone?"

"Yes,"Carolyn smiled."She had the... letters the Captain had written to you, and was hoping to find the ones you had written to Daniel."

"But there were none!" Vanessa stuttered a bit."The only one she would have found was the oneI wrote to him breaking our engagementthat my parents gave him when he returned home."

I suppose that's the letter that Daniel said was"lost at sea..." Carolyn thought.Out loud she said: "I don't imagine he kept that one."

"I wouldn't think so.What happened to my descendant?" Vanessa asked, looking at the clock on the wall.

Feeling her face turn warm, Carolyn looked away. "She got what she came for and… left."

"But... there were no letters!" Vanessa protested."That was something I hoped I could tell Daniel and make sure he understood...?"

"It's a long story," Carolyn blushed."But the Captain... well, he wrote one that made your descendant decide to not look for anything further, and that's when she left.But Captain Gregg... didn't. Leave, that is…"She trailed off lamely.

"I don't understand."

Carolyn blew out a breath."Look... Captain Gregg was... fascinated with your descendant.Mostly, **I** think, because she looked just like you, and he had megive her the shawl that he brought back from his travelsto give to you.She wanted to buy Gull Cottage, live here and write, and I was... I thought maybe it would be better if my children, housekeeper and I left, but the Captain did an about-face and arranged for Vanessa, the other one, I mean, to find a letter from HIM saying HE had broken off his betrothal with YOU, and Vanessa got mad and left.The thing is; I knew he wrote the letter recently, not a long time ago, because he quoted Oscar Wilde in it, and he admitted that while you were a pleasant part of his past, that it was his PAST and he would rather haunt me, and then he gave me the shawl he had brought back for you and... That's all."

Almost to herself, the specter murmured, "Perhaps he did find someone after all."

"I... really couldn't say," Carolyn flushed as sheremembered the Captain's tender voice and what he had said as he placed the shawl around her shoulders."He wasn't married when he died, you know.I... don't know."

An enigmatic smile softened Vanessa's face. "I have confidence you will discover what I mean, in due time."

"I... I..." Carolyn blushed again. "Look, are you sure I can't get you anything? I don't know when the Captain will be home, but you might as well make yourself comfortable.Maybe he will be back early?I don't believe he likes leaving his 'ship' for too long a time.I think he thinks Claymore will sell it out from under him."

"No, thank you, I cannot… partake, remember?" The ghost smiled slightly. "Claymore? Who is that?"

"Claymore Gregg. He's the Captain's great-nephew; or maybe more like great-great-nephew. But Captain Gregg says most emphatically that he isn't any kind of his descendant.Anyway, he is the legal owner of Gull Cottage these days, and my landlord."

"I see, and he is not all that… nice?"

"He's all right," Carolyn smiled. "Something of a tightwad, sort of ordinary looking; nothing like the Captain, actually, but no one is! And Claymore is terrified of Captain Gregg."

"Daniel still has his ship, you said? I thought it would be long gone by now."

"He says Gull Cottage is his ship now," Carolyn smiled.

"But it is on land, not on the water," Vanessa looked befuddled.

"That's what I tell him," Carolyn grinned.

The two women shared an amused look. Men could be so very eccentric!

There was a pause and then Vanessa said, "Dress styles have certainly changed since I lived."

"And that's not all!" Carolyn agreed. "At times though, it feels like Gull Cottage is still in your century. That's both a blessing and a curse. Modern conveniences are so…"

"…Convenient?"

"Until they're not," the lady of today sighed ruefully. "A lot goes wrong, and Claymore is a bit parsimonious about making repairs. What's more, the Captain's not at all happy when more modernity comes aboard."

"You do not call Daniel by his Christian name?"

"It just seems… too forward," Carolyn explained, flushing. "And he has not called me Carolyn, either,"she added, turning redder.

"I see. Will you tell me more about your world while we wait? I regret to say I am forbidden to tell you much about where I now am," Vanessa smiled. "It's just… not for mortals to know."

"Darn, but I guess that is as it should be," Carolyn shrugged her acceptance.

XXX

For the next little while, the two females exchanged stories about the past and present. Carolyn even managed to speak about her late husband, something she seldom felt like doing.

Shortly after ten, Vanessa glanced at the clock. "Do you think Daniel will be MUCH longer?"

Following her gaze, Carolyn gasped. "I have no idea, but my children and housekeeper won't be! Normally, I'd love for you to meet them, but Candy and Martha don't know about the Captain; they think he's Jonathan's imaginary friend." Her expression was resigned. "The Captain says they aren't ready."

"Then, they certainly are not ready to meet me," Vanessa acknowledged. "I am limited on time…"

"Perhaps you could wait in the wheelhouse? I mean the attic?" Carolyn offered. "It is the Captain's Sanctum Sanitarium, but, I think he'd make an exception for you."

"Possibly, but I am not confident of my reception. It might be best if I left," the spirit seemed to fade a little.

"Nonsense," Carolyn insisted. "It's time that you both got this settled." She rubbed the back of her neck. "But maybe, his wheelhouse isn't a good idea after all, or the widow's-walk." Now Carolyn glanced at the clock on the wall, which read ten-fifteen. "What time DO you have to go?"

"Midnight."

"That figures," Carolyn nodded, "The official beginning of a new day. As I said, I don't know if Captain Gregg will be home by then or not, but I do know my children will be here shortly, and probably my housekeeper, Martha, too. I know! You can go up to my room and wait. There's a comfortable sofa and wing chair and books to read, and then when the kids get home and I get them to sleep, we can talk a little more, at least."

"That would be lovely."

Carolyn showed Vanessa her bedroom; Daniel Gregg's former room and Vanessa commented on how much it looked like the cabin of a ship. Carolyn laughed. "He calls my room the Master Cabin. Maybe Gull Cottage is a ship, after all!"

"But, you have made it your room, too," Vanessa retorted. "I love your bedspread, the doilies on the dresser and other tables, and the miniature portraits of what HAVE to be your children."

"Thank you," Carolyn gazed at the room she had fallen in love with at first sight. "I like the way it looks, too."

XXX

Fifteen minutes later, back in the living room, the two women heard the 'toot' of a car horn.

"That will be the kids," Carolyn said, with a smile. "I'll do my best to get them simmered down quickly, and off to sleep. They do have school tomorrow, but today was special — their first party here in Schooner Bay."

"I can still remember my first party here; I'm sure the two were quite different."

"I think so!" Carolyn lowered her voice, but started toward the front door, with Vanessa following. "Games, lots of snacks, not too much sugar, I hope, plenty of party favors and maybe they watched something on TV..." By this time they were in the foyer.

Vanessa began to fade. "Don't rush your children on my account. I'll... find a book or something and wait for you." With that, she was gone.

When Carolyn opened the front door, not only were her two children there, but her housekeeper as well.

"Hi!" she smiled, bending to give Candy and Jonathan a hug. "Martha! I didn't expect to see you so early!"

"The film projector broke right as Cary found the body in the window seat," Martha explained. "Everyone received a pass to see the show again on Monday, if we want to."

"And how was the party?" Carolyn asked, turning to her children.

"Cool!" Candy enthused. "Linda Coburn and I hung out together a lot and the only thing wrong that happened all night was that Penelope Hassenhammer teased me about living in a "spook house." I told her there wasn't such thing as a ghost, but that even if there was, he would be a cool-looking one for Halloween, and then she shut up."

"And you, Jonathan?" Carolyn asked, as they made their way to the living room.

The boy thought a second and then said, "The cookies were really good, and there was a neat punch made with soda and ice cream. Can we have it sometime, even if there's no party?"

"Well... I don't know about that, but maybe for your birthday next month?" his mother asked.

"Yeah! That'd be great! Candy's, too?"

"Sounds like a lot of punch, and a lot of soda," Martha commented.

"Don't forget the ice cream," the boy added.

"It was sherbet," Candy, in her best big sister tone, corrected him.

"Oh... well, ice cream would be good, too, I bet," Jonathan answered. "Like a float. Maybe we can have ice cream and soda at my birthday party and sherbet and soda at Candy's?"

Carolyn laughed. "I don't want to hear about any more sweets, tonight; I'm sure you two have had enough to last a week as it is! Right now I want you both, to go upstairs and get into your pajamas, brush your teeth twice as long as usual, and get into bed. I'll be up in a few minutes, all right?"

With put-upon sighs, they chorused, "Yes, Ma'am."

"You don't have to tell me bedtime," Martha grinned. "I'm ready to call it an evening. I feel like I could sleep for a week! How about you?"

"I... actually, I might stay up and read, for a little while longer," Carolyn answered, wondering if Vanessa was all right upstairs. "I want to finish my chapter, at least." She gestured to the forgotten paperback on the coffee table, "But... not for long."

"Okay. Good night, Mrs. Muir." On that note, Martha headed toward her room.

Tucking the children in did not take long either; there was a little protesting, but Carolyn reminded them about school the next day, and soon they were on their way to dreamland. Then she headed back downstairs.

Vanessa materialized into view. "I couldn't help but watch you put your children to bed," she said, lowering her eyes. "They are adorable. Enjoy all the goodnights and tucking-in; time passes so swiftly and soon they say they are too grown-up for such things. Trust me, I know."

"How many children did you say you had... have? Four? Do you see them...now?"

Vanessa shook her head. "I really can't say. It's against the rules. Besides, it is impossible to explain the afterlife to one who cannot experience it. You have no frame of reference, you see."

"Like trying to describe colors to someone who has been blind their entire life?" Carolyn asked wistfully. "I understand. It's just that, both my husband and my favorite great-aunt died not that far apart, and while I grew up being taught and knowing that everything in the hereafter will be a thousand times better than here on earth, it would be nice to know they ARE happy."

The ghost smiled. "That much I can confirm."

"Thank-you," Carolyn whispered, and for a moment the two women said nothing, lost in their own thoughts. The clock struck eleven, Vanessa seemed to stiffen, and for a moment, she flickered where she sat.

"He's coming," she said quietly, but calmly, "I can feel his presence near. I am going to dematerialize now... I'll be here in the room, but... and... I hate to ask you this..."

"He won't be able to sense YOU?" Carolyn asked, amazed, and the woman shook her head.

"I told you. I am not a regular spirit."

"Then, let me feel Captain Gregg out, so to speak," Carolyn smiled. "I think you will know when to make yourself known to him." So saying, Carolyn picked up the book she had been reading when the evening began.

She was not a second too soon. Daniel Gregg appeared, and as his gaze landed on the widow, he looked startled. "Madam? Why are you still up?"

"The kids and Martha only got home about a half-hour ago," the blonde answered. "Actually, I didn't expect to see you so early, Captain! You decided not to haunt the night away?"

"No... I... well… I wanted to see if the children had a good time, and... One never knows what Claymore might try, after all. And you, Madam? Did you enjoy the evening to yourself?"

For a moment, she hesitated and then enigmatically stated, "I wasn't EXACTLY alone."

The spirit glanced around the room. "The children came home early? No, you said they only returned recently. Someone from the village was here?"

Was it her imagination, or did she hear a note of something like jealousy in his voice?

"No," she replied nonchalantly, "A friend of YOURS, actually."

"Mine?" Up went his eyebrows. "You mean another ghost?" He looked around again. "One of my old shipmates, Charles, keeps swearing he is going to visit me, but... did they leave?"

Carolyn shook her head. "I'd love to meet a friend of yours sometime, Captain, but that's not who it was..." She bit back a laugh. "Actually, we spoke of this person quite recently."

Now, thoroughly befuddled, he shook his head. "My dear, I am forced to ask: of whom do you speak?"

"She's talking about me, Daniel," Vanessa's voice was heard, and a second later, she had materialized into view.

"Vanessa?" Daniel's voice came out in a hoarse whisper. "Is that really you?"

Though tempted, she did not look away. "Yes, Daniel."

Still dumbfounded, the spirit glanced first at Carolyn, and then back at his old love, and his face hardened slightly. "Why are you here?"

"I... I need to talk to you, Daniel, and explain some things, and I don't have much time."

"I'll leave you two alone," Carolyn softly said.

"Madam, that isn't necess..." the Captain started, but Carolyn cut him off.

"Yes, it is. Trust me, Captain." Giving them both a smile, Carolyn picked up her book once more and headed for the stairs.

When the lady of the house, or ship, was gone, Vanessa remarked, "She's quite a lovely person, Daniel."

"I think so..." The seaman looked toward the foyer, where Carolyn had just exited. Then, his blue eyes settled on his former love. "Now, why are you here?"

Gathering a century's worth of courage, Vanessa took a deep 'breath' and began her story. The seaman listened without saying a word.

XXX

"And that's all, Daniel," Vanessa finished. "I was allowed to come back tonight to tell you this, with the hopes that you can understand, and I can go back to my rest, undisturbed."

He was silent so long she feared that her time would expire before he answered. Finally, the seaman spoke. "Oh, Vanessa..." He shook his head sadly. "I wish you had been brave enough to tell me how you were feeling back then; that you weren't absolutely positive that marriage with me is what you wanted! Yes it would have... hurt, but I DO understand." Fiddling with one ear, he admitted, "In the spirit of honesty, I will have to confess that I am not certain that I was ready for marriage at the time myself. It just seemed to be the right thing to do at that stage of my life."

They shared a smile. Then, as the clock began to strike, a touch of regret mingled with joy lit Vanessa's face. "It is time for me to return, Daniel. I wish we could have had this talk in life, and perhaps been friends, if not lovers." Standing on tiptoe, she kissed his cheek. "Have an afterlife that rivals your magnificent life, my good Captain."

Then, without any transition, she was simply not there, leaving behind a pensive seaman.

XXX

In the morning, Captain Gregg was not certain whether he wished to discuss the events of the prior evening or not. In one way, it seemed too private, but he had become accustomed to sharing things with the lovely widow, even in the brief time her family had lived in his home. Of course, he did not get the chance to make the choice until after Martha left to take the children to school and do her weekly grocery shopping.

He waited patiently for Mrs. Muir to pepper him with questions about the night before. After the second Vanessa's visit, he was sure she had a thousand of them, but amazingly, there were none forthcoming. Finally, knowing their time alone was rapidly drawing to a close; he popped into the Master Cabin where she was working.

So absorbed was she in her writing, Carolyn did not look up until a ghostly hand appeared in front of her page. Slightly irritated, she turned her focus on the specter. "Yes?"

"I am prepared to sate your curiosity, Madam," he announced, trying to sound magnanimous.

"Oh? About?"

"Vanessa Hamilton," he replied. "I have considered the matter, and decided you are entitled to know at least part of what we discussed."

"Well, thank you, but she told me all about it before you came home," Carolyn shrugged. "I quite enjoyed our talk."

"She… you…" For once, he was at a loss for words.

"There is one thing I do wonder, however," she allowed.

"I knew it!" he crowed.

"Between the two Vanessas…"

"Madam, comparing two women, even two so alike in looks, is gauche."

"No, nothing like that," she shook her head. "I just wondered if you wished for… Oh, never mind. It was a silly thought." She waved her unformed question away dismissively.

"Seeing the pair of them did help me draw one conclusion, dear lady." When he knew he had her attention, he went on, "The past is another land, and at one time, I enjoyed roving there. The time does come into a man's life, or afterlife, when home is where he wants to be."

A look passed between the Ghost and Mrs. Muir, and they both knew there was nothing more that needed to be said.

END


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